A post about a non-existent product.

It does not sleep. It does not take breaks. It doesn’t forget, it doesn’t forgive, and it certainly doesn’t exist.

Of course I’m talking about my non-existent miracle product for recording my life. Maybe you’ve read my post about time and how much our perception of time and our own human memories scare the shit out of me.

But here’s the problem.

I’m lazy. Unfathomably lazy. More lazy then you can possibly imagine. I do not, for example, want to take my phone out of my pocket and snap a picture of a memory. Oh no. That is entirely too much work for these old thumbs. No, no, dear reader. I’ll leave that type of thumb-work to the snapchatters and the tiktokers thank you very much.

I’m joking of course, my problem isn’t with taking pictures, it’s with the whole process. I take a photo and then I have to organize that photo or save it somewhere off my phone and then I have to back all that shit up and haven’t you heard of iCloud and EXIF data and of course I have but I still don’t want to do it that way. I want a perfect record of my day with zero effort from myself. I don’t even want to have to remember to do anything about it. I just want it done.

And I want it done forever. Every day.

I envision it a bit like snapchat’s spectacles. Except, you know, not insane looking. Their new version really took a step in the wrong direction, imo. I think I’ve seen those spectacles on jessie from team rocket no joke.

I mean, look at that. To me the resemblance is uncanny. Yes yes I’m well aware that it’s probably a small technical miracle to make tiny computers attached to your face not look insane. Ok I get it, thank you. You can close out of that message draft.

Anyway, the idea is that there’s some type of wearable. In my case it would be prescription glasses, because I gotta carry that shit everywhere anyways. However, I also toyed with the idea of a watch-sized VR photo taker that I could sort of flip up, press a button real quick, and snap a 360 degree picture, along with all of the relevant metadata. Maybe even a quick audio clip?

It all uploads to a server with a UI that’s basically just a calendar. Click the calendar, get the day. Random pictures throughout the day, GPS tracking. It’s basically a privacy nightmare. But in a more wholesome way, right?

The point is, this becomes a journal of sorts. I can click through days and jog the memories surrounding the events on each day. Maybe it includes my fitness data in there so I can say “oh yeah it’s that day when I got that really good workout in” or I can trigger it on command with a quick button press because I want to capture what I’m eating.

I wouldn’t have any days that are completely gone anymore.There would always be some tiny artifact of the day. An image, GPS, audio, SOMETHING.

Think about it for a minute. Three Tuesdays ago, what happened?


Doesn’t that terrify you?

It should.